we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
