Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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