Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
