loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
