So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
