I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
