god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
