Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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