you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
