As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The Olympian is in my bed
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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