Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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