She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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