Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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