is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need a beard to bite.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
