You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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