I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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