if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
