Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
