Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
