One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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