His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
