He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
