My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
