Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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