Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
