from now on my penis is your penis
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
