Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
