Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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