just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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