i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
