is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
