It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
