so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
