did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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