i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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