Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize