In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
