Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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