Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
