I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
