im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
