he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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