dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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