i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
