I accidentally burped into my bong.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
