White coat. Heels.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize