So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
