I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
