I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
