I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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