i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He? As in you personified your dick?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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