Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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