I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
