You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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