Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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