Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
