sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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