My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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