We're facebook friends in real life
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
