Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize