I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
