i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
