Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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