Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
